Finding Joy In 'Those' Moments

Oh the sweet joy of toddler hood! We had our first traumatic scare last weekend when we were at a barbecue and while playing outside Brayden got too far ahead of Brandon before he could stop her from touching the hot barbecue. After hours of screaming and treating her poor wounded fingers, I think she learned never to touch that again. Her fingers are almost all better now, and she has learned what an "owie" is. I realize this is only the beginning, but I am becoming more and more aware of...

"The Toddler Rulebook"

-author unknown

revised by me

"If it is on, I must turn it off."

"If it is off, I must turn it on."

"If it is folded, I must unfold it."

(socks on hands to slow down the process)

"If it is shelved...

...it must be unshelved."

"If it is not trash...

...it must be thrown away."

"If it is in the trash...

...it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor."

"If it is closed...

...it must be opened."

"If it does not open, it must be screamed at."

"If it is a stroller, it must under no circumstance be ridden in without protest with arched back...

...It must be pushed by me instead."

"If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon."

"If it is off limits, I must find out why."

(insert imagined picture of touching BBQ here)

"If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried."

"If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone."

"When Mommy puts me down, I must run as far away as I can get away with."

"If it is paper, it must be torn."

"If it has buttons...

...they must be pressed."

"If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled."

"If you have it, I want it."

(hence the chocolate on face)

"If it is a phone, I must talk to it."

"If it is not food, it must be tasted."

"If it IS food, it must not be tasted."

"If I don't want to eat it, it must be thrown on the floor."

"If it is spaghetti, it must be rubbed in hair."

"If it is liquid, it must be spilled."

"If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water."

"If it is bath time, my hair must stand on end."

"If it is camera time, I must smile."

"If it is Mommy...

...I must hug."

They're only young once. Enjoy the moments.