Braydenisms

It's that time again. Time to share all the funny stories I've collected from Brayden along with some random pictures I have of her.

#1. Ever since Kaleb was about 7 months and mobile he has found a way to pester his big sister. She started saying this then, and still, a whole year later I hear these same words all. the. time.

"Mom! Kaleb's fathering me!"

#2. Kaleb woke up fussy and crying one morning and I hear in the monitor Brayden singing to him, “If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay….Quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away.”

She's still sweet to him, even if he "fathers" her.

#3. We took away her bath paint when she was taking a bath because she was misbehaving and said, “maybe you can try again on Tuesday” (the next time she would take a bath). She then says with a pout, “NO! On Threes-day!” (Because she’s three…not two.)

#4. While eating lunch one day,

“Are there sugar bugs in my lemonade?” I responded, "No, there is sugar in your lemonade. The sugar bugs are in your mouth and they like to eat the sugar." With absolute horror she then exclaimed,

“…and then they eat my TEETH??!! Oh no, I need to give them more sugar!!!”

She quickly takes another drink so the bugs will eat the sugar, not her teeth.

We've had to clear that one up since.

#5. This next one made me laugh out loud.

"You’re squishy daddy. Your bones are under your squish."

#6. She said to her cousin Tyler who was sitting next to her during lunch one day,

“You’re having “boy” cheese and I’m having “girl” cheese (grilled cheese)."

#7. While getting her dressed I asked, “What are those bruises from?” Pointing to her leg. “They’re from my banana.”

I guess bananas are the only other thing she knows of that have bruises.

#8. She hurt her foot one day and was walking around on a little limp. Brandon told her when she woke up the hurt would go away. Well, that wasn’t so. So she asked me when it was going to go away and I told her it takes time to heal. She then perked up and said,

“Is Jesus going to ‘peal’ it?”

Because we’ve talked about Jesus being able to heal. I told her,

"We need to say a prayer and ask first.”

So she said a prayer. When Brandon came home later that evening she told him,

“Jesus is ‘pealing’ my owie.”

#9. Brandon bought me some root beer as a special treat…the kind in old fashioned bottles. She was eyeing it as I was drinking it. She asked me what it was and I told her it was “pop” and it was mommy’s drink. She insisted she wanted some so I told her after I was done I would put juice in the bottle and she could drink from it. I forgot once I finished the bottle, but the following day she kept asking me for some “corn juice.” I knew she was talking about juice in the root beer bottle but I had no idea why she was calling it corn juice. I eventually figured it out when she called it by it’s whole name, “POPcorn juice.” She knew it was called pop…thought I was talking about popcorn and then shortened it to “corn” juice.

#10. Just to preface this next one, it's a rule for Brayden that when I give her gum, if she takes it out of her mouth to play with it, she gets gum taken away for three days.

(She loves to chew gum as a reward for brushing her teeth).

A few Sundays ago during nursery, her teacher pulled out some gum and popped it in her mouth. Well, she’s given Brayden gum before during sacrament meeting and at other times, so Brayden asked her for some. Her leader told her she didn’t have enough for everybody so she would have to wait till after church. Brayden then says,

“I’m going to get angry if you don’t give me some.”

“Well, I’m sorry you’re angry but that’s your choice. You’ll have to wait till after church.”

“I don’t want to wait till after church because then my mom will know, and she said I can’t have gum for three days!!”

What a stinker.

#11. And then just today was the story of all stories. She has this thing for not wanting to wear anything under her skirts and dresses to cover her underwear. When we go to church...the minute I drop her off at nursery, she takes off any tights or shorts she might be wearing under her dresses. Well, today I went to the YMCA to work out and dropped her off at the day care there. She was all ready to go to her dance class that she takes there at the same time as my class. When her teacher came to pick her up they called for her to come down from the tree house playground area and here my child comes down buck naked. They figured she wanted her tights off. Some other kid had her tights and she was holding onto her leotard. They all got a big laugh out of it.

And that's my girl...

Hope you've enjoyed it.